How meaningful connections help young children engage and thrive
Today in my Boogie Beat class at Glencorse, something small reminded me of something very important about communicating with young children.
Summer has arrived here in Scotland, and with it comes those wonderfully long, bright days. The sun was pouring through the windows and the room was much brighter than usual. For most people that’s lovely – but for me it can be quite challenging.
As part of my long COVID journey, I developed light sensitivity. Bright light can sometimes trigger headaches that make it difficult to function properly. The typical advice is simple: wear tinted glasses or sunglasses.
But in my job, that doesn’t always work.
Because when we work with children under five, our eyes matter.
A parent and I were chatting about this today, and it made me reflect on something I see every week in my classes. Children are constantly reading us. They are watching our faces, our expressions and our body language. They are asking themselves a very simple but very important question:
“Is this person safe?”
During our toy bag song today, I noticed something lovely. One by one, the children shuffled closer and closer until there was a little herd sitting right beside me.
Not because I asked them to.
But because they could see my face. They could read my eyes, my smile and my expression.
Children instinctively move towards connection.
And that moment reminded me that communication with young children is about far more than words.
Eye Contact Builds Trust
Eye contact is one of the most powerful tools we have when communicating with young children.
Looking directly at a child shows them that they matter and that you are fully present with them. It helps them read your emotions and understand your intentions. Without that connection, children can find it harder to feel secure.
This is one of the reasons I choose not to cover my eyes, even when bright light makes things difficult.
The connection is simply too important.
Clear Expectations Create Safety
Young children feel safer when they know what is happening.
In Boogie Beat sessions we use a visual timetable so children can see the structure of the session. They know what is coming next and what to expect.
Predictability reduces anxiety and helps children relax into the experience. When children feel safe, they are far more likely to engage fully.
A Child’s Name Is Powerful
One of the most powerful ways to connect with a child is incredibly simple:
Use their name.
In nurseries I often work with groups of 15 or 20 children at a time. I make a real effort to learn their names quickly, because I know how much difference it makes.
When a child hears their name, something shifts.
They feel seen.
They feel recognised.
They feel important.
And when children feel that connection, they participate more confidently.
Meet Children at Their Level
Another simple but powerful strategy is something many of us remember hearing from Supernanny Jo Frost years ago – come down to the child’s level.
Adults are huge compared to small children. When we kneel, crouch or sit so that our eyes are level with theirs, the interaction immediately feels calmer and more equal.
It removes the sense of being towered over and invites connection.
Open Body Language Matters
Children also read our bodies.
Open posture, relaxed shoulders and welcoming body language tell a child that it is safe to approach. Sometimes that means allowing a child to hold your hand, lean against you or sit close by.
Touch is incredibly important for young children. They are still learning how to regulate their emotions, and gentle physical reassurance can help them feel secure.
In classes and nurseries, I often see children seek that connection when they are feeling unsure. A small hand in mine or a quick cuddle can be enough to help them rejoin the activity with confidence.
These Connections Matter Across Generations
Interestingly, the same principles apply in our intergenerational Boogie Beat sessions in care homes.
Residents are often seated, so bringing ourselves down to their eye level helps them feel included and engaged. A gentle hand hold or reassuring touch can make a huge difference for someone who feels unsure or disorientated.
And when a child and an older resident connect — perhaps sharing instruments or singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat together — the impact can be incredibly powerful.
It’s a beautiful reminder that connection is something we need at every stage of life.
The Small Things Make the Biggest Difference
In a world that is increasingly busy and digital, it’s easy to overlook the simple tools we always have available to us:
Our eyes.
Our tone of voice.
Our facial expressions.
Our body language.
These are the things that build trust.
These are the things that help children feel safe.
And when children feel safe, they engage, explore and thrive.
Sometimes the smallest moments — like a little herd of children shuffling closer during a song — remind us just how powerful human connection really is.
Written by Mairi Curle, Franchisee Owner of Boogie Beat Edinburgh, Mid and East Lothian.
To enquire about Boogie Beat sessions or bookings around the UK please head to www.boogiebeat.co.uk
